To Whom it May Concern No. 2

To Whom it May Concern,

I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed, and I’m mentally worn out because I wake up each day eager to find a solution, that I have to admit, I’m still not close to solving. You see, I have a problem. A problem that is slowly eating away at me. A problem that discourages me, burdens me and makes me wonder why I even try.

My problem is you – the uninterested, uninvested, uncommitted Christian. You’re the reason I wake up every day with enthusiasm and you’re the reason I go to bed many nights worn out, defeated, and wondering, “why do I keep on doing this?” You’re the person I pray the most about. You’re the reason I work diligently to prepare sermons that are engaging, informative, and (hopefully) life-changing. You’re the reason I fret over the smallest of details hoping they’ll be what finally motivates you. 

You’re also the reason I dread phone calls late at night. You’re the person I most hope will surprise me at my office or while I’m out in public. You’re the person I hope catches me off guard, pulls me aside, or even asks me those pointed questions I often fear. You’re the person I think of when I begin a sermon and when I offer the invitation. You’re the reason I can’t escape my deepest, darkest feelings of inadequacy. You’re the question I can’t answer, the problem I can’t solve, and the reason I often feel like a failure.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m worried about you. I see you give time, effort, and energy into worldly pursuit after worldly pursuit. I see you give your kids all the attention they need on the ballfield but none of it in worship, let alone, Bible class. I see you drift in-and-out of worship trying to avoid eye contact and any meaningful fellowship. I see you sneak out the side door as soon as the closing prayer is said and worship is done and I see you ignore any opportunity the congregation provides you to give more than the slightest effort of participation.

I see you and I long for more. I want to be a bigger part of your life but I know deep down you won’t let me. I long for you to open up, but I doubt it’ll ever happen. I long for reassurances that I’m not the reason you avoid a commitment with God. I pray that my words haven’t discouraged you, I hope my work hasn’t alienated you and I suffer because I know, at the end of the day, you’ll never really let me know the answer to those questions. 

Despite all that discouragement, I still hope. I pray today will be the day that everything changes. I long for a reunion like that of Jacob and Joseph, a renewed kinship like that of Jacob and Esau, an embrace like that of Paul and John Mark. I know all is not lost while there is still breath in your lungs and time in our lives. I hope today will be the day I’m in the right place with the right words or the right actions that encourage you and I pray if it can’t be me, then someone will give you what I long to provide.

I pray today will be the day God becomes the most important person in your life. I long for the opportunity to make good on my promise to be your brother through thick-and-thin. Today, I hope, because I’m your friend. I pray tomorrow I’ll be your brother. 

Sincerely,

A Brother Who Longs for More 


Photo by Marcus Wallis on Unsplash

About The Merger

The Merger began when Neal Mathis and Matthew Higginbotham sat down to write together. Since then, it's blossomed into so much more. The Merger is meant to be a place where faith and life meet. In these stories, we hope you'll find deep theological value right alongside life-changing practical advice.

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